Tuesday, November 22, 2011

One of the hardest things...

One of the hardest things for me about being married, is that I met my husband after losing two very important people in my life. My father died 10 years ago, and my best friend died just 2 years ago. I am saddened that these two amazing people never got to formally meet the man I chose to walk with all the days of my life.

I wish every day that I could have met him sooner, that he could have shared even just one memory with the people that helped me become who I am today. I wish too that he could have known my daddy's mannerisms and wish that my best friend could have teased him and kept him in check the way she did with EVERYONE else in my life. Even a handshake with my Dad would have given him insight into the wonderful man that he was.

If he had met them, perhaps he would better understand why my heart hurts a little more during the holidays, and why my traditions - though silly - mean so much to me. This is not to say that he argues any of these points. On the contrary, he allows me to follow my heart when it comes to all things holiday - but I know because he was not raised to put such high value on tradition and holidays that he must question my need for them. To me, the holidays and traditions I hold so dear are the manner in which I hold on to my memories of the amazing people that once touched my life.

Today, on my Bestie's birthday, I look back on the memories that we made together and forward to the memories that I am making without her - and I am grateful every minute to have Dovey in my life. I hope that he feels like he knows my dad and my Jo - even just a little bit - because of my love for them.

♥Happy Birthday Jo - I hope Daddy, Mimi and Papa are up there helping you eat dozens of those delicious confetti cupcakes that you love so much! ♥

With a heavy heart,